*Edited and entered into Scribbit's September write-away contest.
I am learning a lot about myself in the process of purging my house. It's not an overdue Spring cleaning that drives me, but a necessary attempt to get organized as we put our house on the market. Who'd have thought that such a process could lead to so much self discovery?
I am crafty. Now there's a word I hate. I'm not sure why. I guess in my mind, "crafty" spawns images of bows and painted t-shirts. Holiday themed outfits. Gawdy decor. But "crafty" is taking on a new persona. Today's "crafty" women are artists in their own rite. They are creative and they are entrepreneurs and I am definitely one of them. There's no more denying it; I've got 2 or 3 crates full of craftiness to prove it: paint and brushes, canvases, ribbon, material scraps, stamps, cardstock, scrapbooking paper and mod podge to boot.
I've always thought of myself as a reasonable woman, not too "high demand" if you know what I mean. Manicures are not for me. But 51 pairs of shoes tells me I've just found an alternative source of self indulgence. It's all beginning to come together now - the little vein popping out of my husband's forehead, the mysteriously low discretionary funds. Can I plead the 5th on this one? Luckily the home we will be building promises a master closet that will house 4 times this many shoes. Being the visual man that my husband is, space will engulf my shoe collection and he might actually think I have parted with a few pairs.
I am totally unprepared for Christmas this year. It's shameful, really. I usually have a good stash hidden behind my clothes by now! I looked back there today and literally gasped. The cupboard is bare, my friends. Christmas is but 3 months, 7 days, 7 hours and 28 minutes away! I hate fighting the crowds during November and December. And I much prefer to sit back and enjoy the season than run around like a chicken with it's head cut off. So I should have begun preparing weeks ago. That way by December I am stresslessly baking and listening to Bing Crosby.
While I may have no presents to wrap, I do in fact have plenty of wrapping paper, ribbon, cards and embellishments. Each Christmas morning I am equipped with 2 things - a bag for recyclable ribbons and a box for recyclable cards, wrapping and tissue paper. Is it bad that my kids know how to unwrap a present without ripping it? I mean, I am teaching them frugality. That's a valuable trait. Please tell me this won't leave them feeling repressed.
I am oblivious to the basic nutrients needed to sustain a family in a crisis. I have plenty of chocolate in my food storage: chocolate pudding, hot chocolate, brownie mix and chocolate chips. (So hey - if I'm menstruating, at least I'LL survive.) But where are the legumes? Where is the rice? Protein, schmotein, surely we need antioxidants more! And the fixin's for a party. That'll be my solution to the mayhem or emergency that requires the use of my food storage to begin with.
You see how much progress I am making here? I guess a closet can tell a lot about a person. Mine was much messier than I realized. I keep a fairly tidy house though, so what else does that say? Ah forget it, I've learned enough about myself for one day.