06 March 2006

Oh so many thoughts

It's been a few days, I know. I'm slowing down a bit. There's a lot going on right now. First of all, I am getting to the icky part of my pregnancy, the part which requires me to cut back and take it easy lest I go into preterm labor. I start progesterone therapy next week and am going to pare down my life this week so that I am not working so dang hard!

Second of all, my mother's would-be-52nd birthday was Friday. She passed away almost 2 years ago. I thought about posting something special and grandeur about her but decided to wait for the anniversary of her death next month (sheesh, is it even appropiate to call it that?). I think I'll need it more then, anyway.

Anyhow, you can't even begin to imagine the blogibilties that have been whirling around in my little head the last few days! I had the privilege of attending "Time Out for Women" (like a women's revival for Mormons, lol) this weekend and whoa! Lots to absorb...

I think what made the strongest impression on me (for now, at least) was a talk given by Matthew O. Richardson (yeah, the one man who spoke). He basically talked about the fruitless task of quailfying ourselves for grace. It is so true that moms often feel that they are saved by grace only after giving 110% to their children and to the women in their ward/stewardship and to their neighbors. Only after getting translated, and losing 10 lbs, and writing that book on the joy of motherhood and on and on and on! Rofl! Oh, how I have fallen prey to this thinking. Why do we twist and turn things so that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY we can accomplish them? Think about it. Grace is "the divine influence upon the heart". It is the enabling power to do all we can do! Most importantly, grace is not earned.

He suggested the parable of the widow's mite in comparison to what we each have to offer. She, of course "did cast all that she had, all her living". So what is that for you or I? Is it all the aforementioned things? We know we must lay on the altar of sacrifice whatever is required of us, but I can't tell you what that is, nor can you tell me what is required of me. It is different for each of us, and MIGHT (compared to mite) has much to do with it. But we must not doubt what we have to offer. It is the adversary who tells us we are not good enough or that what we have to offer isn't good enough compared to Molly Perfecto.

For instance, I don't give myself credit for the simple motherly things I do like hug my child after he's hurt himself. Oh no, that is merely expected of me and will certainly go unnoticed. On the contrary! Wendy L. Watson pointed out that if we were to write our life history from what we think of as the Lord's perspective, we'd undoubtedly give attention to all the mistakes we've made. The Lord's record of our life, however, would be void of our transgressions (given that we have properly repented of them) and will include those small things that we do and don't give ourselves credit for. We forget that Christ and the atonement act as the editor of our life history. Isn't it marvelous to think of it that way!

I've said it before, but am recommitting, that I will believe in all that I do... that not only includes putting on my cape and delivering meals to the sick or watching Molly Perfecto's 5 children or hosting as many baby showers as possible. Reading my scriptures or commenting often in Relief Society or saying 30 min. personal prayers. Or performing once a month. But also folding the laundry and wiping noses and most importantly... hugging away booboos ;).

11 comments:

smartmama said...

lei- so profound and insightful lately--beautiful post-- sorry you are at the yuck stage I've spent 40+ weeks on progestrone for various pgs (shots and other- ughh) hang in there

ubercyl said...

I enjoyed this post as well, some food for thought there.

Carrie said...

Such a good post. I have been pondering these things as of late, too. Some good things to think on.

Lee said...

What a profound and wonderful post. That was so what I needed to hear. Thank you.

Rachelle said...

Another beautiful post!

Anonymous said...

that was a wonderful post!
i thought about your mom last friday after my mom reminded me what day it was! hope u are doing ok! love you! mel

The Constant Gardener said...

Sounds like you had a great time and got a great recharge. I think I'll go hug my kids now.

Zoe said...

Lei, why is it that I live in Utah and we don't have conferences like this?! Man, I love what you posted. I have been struggling so much lately with feeling inadequate in my role as a mother. I think that the adversary wants us to feel not capable. But after all, I am the BEST mom that my kids have!! That is why they are mine. :) (Little pat on the back to self) I like the idea of writing our life story from God's perspective. Thanks for sharing

SuAnn said...

Hope you get feeling better soon. Very good post.

MusicalMom said...

Good luck with everything! Now that the days are getting noticeably longer, I'm trying to recommit to everything as well.

jessica said...

I opted not to go to "Time Out for Women" and from all I'm hearing it sounds like I missed out! They even recapped it in Relief Society the following day, but my youngest was with me and apparently didn't want to be surrounded by so much estrogen. I really enjoyed hearing what you got out of it. Thanks for that :)