There's me, and then there's ME

The further I get into motherhood the more I learn about myself. (Don't we all?) Some good, some bad. Lately I've been thinking a lot about how there's this "ideal me", and then there is the "real me". The ideal me is organized... her pantry is pretty, her closet is color coordinated, her refrigerator never has expired products in it, and she uses a label maker.

The real me is carefree and creative. One thing can be done many different ways and coming up with new ways to accomplish things is her specialty. She's tried just about everything, and puts 100% in all that she does. She's spontaneous and so "structure" doesn't come naturally.

I have fought the real me for a very long time. Well, I go in spurts. I relish in the summer months where we can wake up in tandem and there is no homework, virtually no "schedule" (not enough to need a dreadful day planner), and we can satisfy whatever our itch. Love that. And yet when school begins I go out with a big bang. There is a set time for everything and everything is in it's place and all that good stuff. And I feel like I'm on FIRE!

Not surprisingly, these 2 women clash, always fighting for first place. I want to keep things under control, but oh there's a fun race coming up and new boutique in town that might like my Whimsy Wipes and photography techniques to brush up on and auditions for a musical and so-and-so could use a fun baby shower... I am learning to appreciate and utilize us both.

When it comes to my high strung children (and other family members... wink, wink), the real me is the perfect fit. I slow things down and work my calm and am a nurturing giant. When it comes to managing all my creative endeavors the ideal me is the perfect fit. I can multi-task and double dip and I'm like the energizer bunny. (Let me tell you, I am so happy that the ideal me even makes her appearance these days. ;) And I know just how to take advantage of her when she's around, although that lands both of us in a heap of exhaustion.)

What it boils down to is that it's a good thing to have strengths and imperfections. Because you need both... what may be perceived as a weakness may come in handy at just the right time and what may be perceived as a strength, perhaps even at one point in your life an unattainable one, could become one of your most admirable qualities.

Motherhood has its way of shaping you, molding you, and sometimes the process feels more like erosion... but here's to the balance it produces, to embracing your real and your ideal self! And to being whole.

Maybe it's because they know how bad it is for them?

Dear Abby,

Macaroni and cheese, also known as yellow death, is the fastest, easiest, cheapest food for tired moms to prepare. I admit to serving it once in a while, trying to pass it off as a "real meal" by adding fruit or green beans. That ain't so bad, right? I mean, it's not one of our food groups by any means. Lately, however, my youngest 2 have begun dumping half of theirs on the floor! What kid does that?

Is it time to broaden my horizons? Maybe try hot dogs?

Sincerely,
Desperate for easy meal night in Texas

Just Can't Get Enough

... of this little girl.


She has me wrapped around her little finger.


Can you see why?


And THIS one.


Never a dull moment.

Time, please slow down.

A little warning would have been nice!

"The world is full of women blindsided by the unceasing demands of motherhood, still flabbergasted by how a job can be terrific and torcherous."

Anna Quindlen

Mothers everywhere, who are under the impression that things will get easier when:

a) your child sleeps through the night
b) your child can walk by him/herself
c) your child can feed himself
d)your child is potty trained
e)your child is in preschool
f) you child is in Kindergarten
g) your child has a hobby
h) your child can do homework on his/her own
i) your child is old enough to help out

I am here to burst your bubble. Lol. Motherhood gets easier in some regards and more difficult in others. It gets busier (chaffeur, anyone?), and dirtier (always have wet wipes with you, even for the 9 year old!), and crazier (starting with me). And I for one, 4 children later, am just as tired as ever. But I truly was among those that thought my reprieve would come as I checked each item off my to do list. That list just gets longer and longer, my friends.

So yeah, we may never escape chaos, but there is joy amidst that chaos. I think we become better at our calling as we go along... more efficient, more organized, more REALISTIC. With that comes confidence, and the ease to enjoy motherhood. Hence, we tend to laugh at ourselves more easily when we, say, try to put socks on our kid's hands instead of their feet. :)

So I'm here to set the record straight, it woulda been nice for somebody to have done so for me... The next time somebody catches you in a fluster and pauses to tell you "It gets easier, dear...", you may look back at them with an all knowing eye and be not deceived. Because they're not saying that your burden becomes any lighter, they're just saying that you learn to adapt.

Just one more reason to keep on keepin' on...

blessings

Today I met a woman who lost her 19 month old baby in a drowning incident. Today I met a woman who's a cancer survivor and less one leg since 8 months ago. Today I met a woman who survived unemployment while raising 11 children. Today I met a woman who suddenly found herself married to a selfish man. Today I met a woman who's battled with depression and anxiety since she was a young child. 5 women courageously shared their challenges with a congregation of over 100 women. 5 women who aired the most intimate details of their lives to give 100 women the strength to carry on. 100 women who could in some part relate to every one of these heart wrenching stories went home with lots to think about. How can I not be happy when I know that someone else has it worse than me? How can I improve my attitude and rededicate myself to motherhood? How can I better serve others? How can I show my family how much I love and appreciate them, before its too late? How can I perserveare? There is so much to be grateful for today, that I'd better find extra time to spend on my knees. There are so many little things I take for granted each and every day. I will wake up tomorrow more devoted to my calling as a wife, a mother, a friend. I will be more appreciate of the simple gift that is life. I will find someone to serve. I will choose to be happy.