13 May 2008

A-ha!

I received a nod for this post today at The Mormon Times (which is affiliated with Deseret News). Thank you Emily!

I had a total a-ha moment at church on Sunday. Our bishop spoke to us in Relief Society and what he said was exactly what I, and many moms I believe, needed to hear. I just couldn't believe it hadn't occured to me before.

If you didn't know, I am LDS and we believe that through the atonement we are forgiven and can attain eternal life. However it's easy to get that shoulder to the wheel and keep going, without asking for help. After all you're feeling capable, you're feeling strong, and you forget that it's not up to you. The Savior perfects us. We do not perfect ourselves.

As mothers we stew over "perfecting the home". We desire to be excellent housekeepers, excellent teachers, excellent disciplinarians, excellent cooks, excellent organizers. We read books, we attend workshops, we ask for each others' advice, we observe one another, we hope to be more like one another. We begin to take the world on our shoulders without realizing this is how pride grows. And pride prevents humility, which is what is required of us to become perfect mothers. It is what the Savior requires to MAKE us perfect mothers. That's HIS job. Not ours.

I don't know about you, but this is a huge relief. (No more 3 decker birthday cakes;)) In all seriousness, I know this does not mean that I can stop cleaning, teaching, disciplining, cooking and organizing. But I can certainly allow the Savior to work out the kinks. I can stop stewing! I can stop worrying! A little more Mary, a little less Martha, know what I mean?

I was so grateful to have realized this. This week has been so much easier for me despite the constant bickering amongst my children and the backed up "to do" list (and there seems to be a lot of both these days). I've woken up each morning and studied my scriptures... not just fit it in somewhere between making school lunches and wiping down the toilets... but studied them. I made the time. I took a little bit of care of ME.

I have a responsibility to be the best I can and do the best I can, but the rest is up to Him. When I fall short it won't be because I am Slacker Mom. And when I don't fall short it won't be because I am Super Mom. It will be because I allowed the Savior to walk beside me. I invited Him to be in our home, to be with me and guide me and to make up the difference between being a PERFECT mom and being the BEST mom that I can be.

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16 comments:

Kasie @ ~The Art of Life~ said...

Thank you so much for sharing this! It's something that I know in my heart but too often need reminding of. :)

Linsey said...

Thankyou so much for sharing this. Wonderful stuff.

An Ordinary Mom said...

This sounds like a positively lovely a-ha moment! Don't you just love it when things finally really click and sink in?

Stacy said...

That's great - thanks for sharing.

Chel said...

wow. I NEEDED that. Ever since M. Russell Ballard's talk I've needed that. I loved the Mary/Martha comparison... I definitely need to learn to draw that line!

Yvonne said...

Thank you so much for writing this. Isn't it great to know it is Him. We try so hard to do it alone--WHY? We can't. We need to turn more over to Him.

Love those aha moments.

Love your comment about studying and not just fitting in the scripture. When you think of all the great experiences that people had in the scriptures they came after feasting, praying and pondering. Not sure we ever ponder enough.

smart mama said...

great aha thaks for sharing

charrette said...

Great site. I love your photography.
I was pondering some of the same ideas last week.
Came to some similar conclusions.
Now I wish I'd read this post before I wrote mine.
Aha!

utmommy said...

Very well said! I think this is just the kind of reminder that we need. I think most of us get stuck on being perfect, we forget to let the Lord do his part. This was perfect!

Leisha said...

I needed this this week. I am in Primary (and without saying that I don't get anything out of it, I do) but sometimes I need little lessons like these to remind me of what we really should focus on.

Nettie said...

Very nice post and very profound concept! I was visiting with a friend and mother of 11 about how she manages to stay on top of all her kid's schedules. She says her brain can no longer remember everything. Her PDA died and she has now chosen to rely on the Lord to help her remember that which is most important. If she doesn't remember something, she considers it a blessing from the Lord to lower the stress level of her life. I'm not sure how serious she was about that. But, it really would be a leap of faith to let your life be lead by the spirit like that. It is really hard to loosen the control we try to manage and really rely on Him.

Sweetpea said...

definitely an a-ha--thanks for sharing!

Shellie said...

What a relief. I think we try to do it all ourselves and I for one constantly need reminding to not be so independent.

Cocoa said...

It's so true that we can get caught up in the "I can do this" mode and forget that we are in partnership with Him to raise our children so it should be "We can do this" mode instead.

Great insights, Lei!

tjhirst said...

This statement, "We begin to take the world on our shoulders without realizing this is how pride grows" reveals so much about the learning process we each must have that we may discover the balance between what is our part and what is His. I love that you related not only what you learned, but how you applied it.

Michal said...

wonderful post. thanks so much for participating in my motherhood writing contest.
i feel so empowered as a mother, knowing that heavenly father wants to help me do his work through motherhood. it feels so much better than the guilt and self-doubt that comes with relying on my own strength.