What kind of mom are you?

There's nothing like a little self-introspection to help you see where you need a little work. But it's also a great way to see where you excel. This week I was faced with the question "What kind of mom are you?" And there it was, the good, the bad, and the ugly, staring me in the face.

The Good

I cannot help but embrace the fun side of parenting. I am a kid at heart, probably always will be. So the birthday parties, the spontaneous adventures, the holiday extras - I am very good at.


I learn all I can about my children's development and ways that I can enhance that. 3 out of 4 of my children have required some kind of therapy - speech, occupational and physical. Naturally, I am drawn to interactive, hands on, very developmental play. So I am a conossieur, of sorts, of good "educational" toys and activities for kids. And I'll be blogging on that soon.


I am very involved in my children's education. I follow what they are learning and how they are learning it and develop good relationships with their teachers. I strongly enforce time together as a family.

I believe in active church attendance.

My kids know what a balanced meal is and what is good or bad for their bodies.

My kids are LOVED. I am very affectionate with them and rarely let them slip by me without grabbing them and hugging them.


The Bad


I wish I was a better "teacher" for my children. It's one area where I am not so patient... and I get told a lot how patient I am. But when it comes to potty training or homework or learning to skate I am lacking in calmness. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me; I love to see my children succeed and wait with open arms after their big accomplishments. But the process has always frustrating. (Their temperaments have a lot to do with it - they are passionate little souls!)


I fight structure a lot because I am such a creative free spirit. Problem is my boys need structure. They have energy, and I don't mean they are active, I mean they are rarely STILL. Without knowing what comes next, there is always chaos. I make charts for them, and do great for a couple weeks, and then slack off, and then try again, and then slack off. It's a constant effort for me. I've never really fallen into a good pattern with it. I keep thinking they were sent to the wrong mom. Lol! They need someone who is uber organized!


I am afraid to push my children too hard. To me, there is a fine, delicate line between encouragement and demand. I don't want them to feel like they have to excel at everything they do, nor do I want to overload them with extracurricular activites. But I see so much potential in each of them that if I followed their every interest that is exactly what would happen, overload. Still, am I denying them the opportunity to develop certain talents and interests by restricting them to one thing at a time? I don't know... I am trying to figure out what our balance is.


The Ugly


Now who wants to go there? Lol.


When my kids have tantrums, I freeze for a moment. I am not real confident when it comes to discipline or putting out fires. If I remember to redirect, I do great, because I can get creative and completely turn their attention to something else. I just have to get over my anxiety first! Otherwise I tend to ignor the episode and just hope it ends quickly! That holds true for maybe 1 out of my 4 children. She's my last and is very mellow in comparison to her siblings.


I yell a lot. Granted, it's the only way I am heard (as it gets quite loud in our house), but it just puts everyone on the defense and is bad for the overall tone in our home. This is another habit I am usually able to kick for a couple weeks, and then it creeps back up on me, and then I get control again, and so on. I know a lot of moms feel that way.


I also forget family prayer about 50% of the time. *blush* We remember to bless our food but by the end of the day I want them in bed and at the beginning of the day we are usually in a rush out the door. Making the time to kneel down together as a family would make such a huge difference in everything I struggle with as a mom. I KNOW that, and yet I still have not formed the habit. Tsk, tsk!


So what are your observations about yourself? What are you great at and what do you wish you could improve? I am sure there are some of you whose strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. That's why I am careful not to compare myself to other mothers. I can learn from them, but it does me no good to wish I were more like them. Besides, what would we learn from each other if we were all the same?


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