02 June 2006

Only the strong survive, revisited

I've been picking apart this quote. I love it, but think it has several different applications - particularly in my life.

When I was in college, I had this posted where I could see it every morning... at the foot of my bed. College was not easy for me, but only because I made it hard. I was involved in everything I possibly could be. I about killed myself! And somehow thought that I was proving my strength by doing as much as possible. But I thrived on it. I've always thrived on busyness.

At this time in my life, survival cannot be about busyness. And I cannot define my strength so much by the things I am accomplishing. I am finding that strength is not wrapped up in what you accomplish in life, but how you live it.

Obviously, what I am working towards now is a healthy and safe delivery, preferably at full term. I am tired of thinking of my pregnancy in terms of my uterus, my cervix, risk factors, gestational weeks... so I have made the decision to turn this around and make it about my baby. About bringing Sasha into the world as peacefully as possible. And about not only thriving on this experience but making it into a growing experience.

I've hired a doula and we're doing this naturally. And I am excited about this. Crazy, no? Lol. Apparently the nurse that guided our tour at the hospital this week thought so. She went back to my OB and told her I'd been asking "questions" that would require approval. Good grief. Guess I'd better have signed copies of my birth plan when I arrive at the hospital!

Anyway, I have learned so much about my body and about its natural abilities through others' birth stories and literature and my doula, that I am really looking forward to labor now. And that's a first! I'm also not nearly as ansty for delivery day to arrive as I have been in the past because I'm no longer fed up with pregnancy or ready for it to just be over. (Hopefully I don't eat my words as the time passes :)

I'm now savoring these last weeks and enjoying the new sense I have of preparing for baby's arrival. It's a unique way to end my birthing experience because we are focusing on making it a very calm and peaceful one. I believe it will bring us a great sense of closure and be a lasting and pleasant memory for our whole family. I can feel the power in surrendering to nature's course. In accepting what is. It's like the principle of faith, you may as well throw yourself into it, or it won't benefit you at all.

18 comments:

QueenMeadow said...

No, not crazy, I think preparing for your birth no matter how it will take place, is awesome. Good luck to you and as always, you have a great attitude :)

Carrie said...

You are not crazy. Sounds like a great plan. I have used midwives for my last two babies and really have loved them. I had to have a C-section with my last baby in the end though because of placenta previa. Around here, for the most part, the OBs and the midwives work well together. I loved the safety of the hospital, but the calming presence of the nurse midwife throughout the labor I had with my second child was wonderful. I also love prental and postnatal care I get with them. I hope it works out well for you. Continue to get rest and take care of yourself.

The Constant Gardener said...

I think sounds just about perfect---I love your attitude and perspective. It's always refreshing. And I get tingles EVERY time I read the name you have chosen...I seriously am in love with it!

Lei said...

Thanks, Alicia! :)

txmommy said...

that sounds great! I hope you have the birth you want and that little Sasha will arrive safe and sound.

Valarie said...

That's a great outlook! I think it will be just as difficult to take these last weeks as peacefully as you can as it would be to fill them with projects at a breakneck pace.

emlouisa said...

I am glad you are excited about the labor thing. I was excited too! (except when it started I was sick sick sick and in NO mood for labor, lol)

Keep me posted on your progress, dang it. How many weeks are you now??? When do you get off bedrest?

Nettie said...

What a great attitude! I think your perspective about Sasha's birth is so perfect. It is all about her and the miracle of her birth into this world, not all that medical stuff.

handiemom said...

I love your posts. They are so eloquent. Good luck in these last weeks. They were always my hardest.

BTW, if you have time before the baby comes, I tagged you to do a meme. Visit my site to find out more. You don't have to play, but I would love your input!

handiemom said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gabriela said...

I admire your attitude Lei. And your bravery! I always go into labor with a sense of fear and dread! Excited for the baby, but scared for the pain.

You have one lucky little girl on the way!

Zoe said...

Oh my gosh Lei!! I cannot believe that you are going to go natural. I mean, it's not crazy, it is admirable. I am impressed and I cannot wait to hear about it. I know that for me . . . given my intense anxiety, I would probably pass out before getting the baby out!! LOL!! I am so excited that it is getting closer!

Cmommy said...

The roller coaster is always more fun when you throw your arms up in the air and laugh! You sound as if this last part of the pregnancy will be a good experience.

{Hugs} to you and Sasha!

EvaRob said...

wow, this is great...you sound like you're in a great place...mind over matter...

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

Good for you! Hopefully this will make the last few weeks of pregnancy - dare we say it - fun!

The Mother Load said...

I chose to go natural with all three of my children. I have no regrets. My thoughts were if the woman long ago could do it then so could I. It wasn't easy, but the experience will be with me always. I was blessed with three beautiful pregnancies and deliveries, not many people are, but at least you have the best of both worlds (hospital & doula) working for you.

Anonymous said...

Hi! Just want to say what a nice site. Bye, see you soon.
»

Anonymous said...

I find some information here.