Only the strong survive, revisited

I've been picking apart this quote. I love it, but think it has several different applications - particularly in my life.

When I was in college, I had this posted where I could see it every morning... at the foot of my bed. College was not easy for me, but only because I made it hard. I was involved in everything I possibly could be. I about killed myself! And somehow thought that I was proving my strength by doing as much as possible. But I thrived on it. I've always thrived on busyness.

At this time in my life, survival cannot be about busyness. And I cannot define my strength so much by the things I am accomplishing. I am finding that strength is not wrapped up in what you accomplish in life, but how you live it.

Obviously, what I am working towards now is a healthy and safe delivery, preferably at full term. I am tired of thinking of my pregnancy in terms of my uterus, my cervix, risk factors, gestational weeks... so I have made the decision to turn this around and make it about my baby. About bringing Sasha into the world as peacefully as possible. And about not only thriving on this experience but making it into a growing experience.

I've hired a doula and we're doing this naturally. And I am excited about this. Crazy, no? Lol. Apparently the nurse that guided our tour at the hospital this week thought so. She went back to my OB and told her I'd been asking "questions" that would require approval. Good grief. Guess I'd better have signed copies of my birth plan when I arrive at the hospital!

Anyway, I have learned so much about my body and about its natural abilities through others' birth stories and literature and my doula, that I am really looking forward to labor now. And that's a first! I'm also not nearly as ansty for delivery day to arrive as I have been in the past because I'm no longer fed up with pregnancy or ready for it to just be over. (Hopefully I don't eat my words as the time passes :)

I'm now savoring these last weeks and enjoying the new sense I have of preparing for baby's arrival. It's a unique way to end my birthing experience because we are focusing on making it a very calm and peaceful one. I believe it will bring us a great sense of closure and be a lasting and pleasant memory for our whole family. I can feel the power in surrendering to nature's course. In accepting what is. It's like the principle of faith, you may as well throw yourself into it, or it won't benefit you at all.