04 April 2009

10 MORE commandments

For my children and my children alone:

1.) Thou shalt not lick anything besides lollipops, ice cream or popsicles. This includes your little sister.

2.) Thou shalt not hit any note higher than G whilst screaming. I cannot handle high C any longer.

3.) Thou shalt not steal food off your sibling's plate when they look the other way.

4.) Thou shalt restrain the urge to practice your most intense piano pieces, crescendo ad nauseum, as soon as I pick up the phone.

5.) Don't not go potty and say you did. Er, Thou shalt not lie and then pee in your carseat as we pull out of the driveway.

6.) Speaking of pottying, thou shalt pull your pants up before you exit the public stall - or even better, the public restroom.

7.) Thous shalt not try and slide down my back while I am doing yoga in the living room.

8.) And thou shalt not ask for me to explain the law of gravity while I am on my 12th rep of bicep curls.

9.) Yes, it is fair. Uh, I mean... thus is fair. (?)

10.) Oh, and thou shalt EAT YOUR VEGETABLES! That one is in the bible. Somewhere, I'm sure. :)


Yvonne said...


Tannie said...

Agreed. :-)

Chrissy said...

I'm just so impressed that you exercise (because I have no excuse and still am not doing it)! :-)

Code Yellow said...

This got at LEAST three out-loud laughs from me. Amen and amen. :)

Morning Glory said...

Love it!!

Michal said...

my favorite, although they are all hilarious and so very needed, is number six. my nine year old still needs reminding on this one. he also starts taking his pants off as he enters the bathroom, public or otherwise.

Tamlynn said...

Totally get #4. Also any time someone comes over. Stay off the instruments!