Happy Thursday!

Remember when I said this? Well, I take it back. I want to skip "2" entirely! (Image not clear due to percussive motion by subject.)


Unfortunately, I think Sasha got these from me.

"You like that, Mom? Catch this gut!"

At least she's happy about it.
THIS does not happen very often!

MOD Monday

With motherhood have come a few things I never thought I'd hear, say, or do. We all know the process of becoming real moms well, I am sure... that painful transition from cooking homemade meals to purchasing your first happy meal, from cleaning weekly to "as needed" (more fondly known as "where obvious"), from the "10 second rule" down to the "10 minute rule" (and occasionally, "unless it has hair on it" rule).

Things I never thought I'd hear.
Not long ago, my daughter walked in the door from school, handed me her jean jacklet, and said, "Here Mom, someone threw up on this".

Things I never thought I'd say.
My 2 year old has recently learned the art of tantrum throwing. Yes, this 2 year old. These days, his floor thrashing ablilities have me saying things like "If you're going to do that, do it on the carpet." and "Can I join you?"

Things I never thought I'd do.
Race a child to the toilet... yes, more here on the subject of throwing up. (I would apologize, but really - what is a moral of the day without a few vomit stories? )
During one of our recent bouts with the flu, I managed to anticipate my daughter's actions and get her to the porcelain vessel without a second to spare. I thought maybe one day I'd be able to run a marathon. Little did I know it would only be a 50 foot sprint. Speed, indeed!

The point of today's moral is acceptance. Accepting "the things we cannot change".

So accept McDonald's in your life.Accept screaming 2 year olds in your life. Accept vomit in your life.

And life? It should get much easier.

"Simulation terminated, simulation terminated" ...

...many moms know which movie that line came from. Sometimes, when I hear it, I daze off into my own little lala land and dream that I get to have a trial round of parenting before facing real situations... difficult situations... like with travelling for instance (we're driving 3200 miles round trip during the holidays this year). Or going to the dentist. It would just be really nice to know how to assure the best outcome. It would save my sanity. Oh, my sanity. Where did that go? But more wisdom will come of doing things for the first time, and messing up occasionally. Even if it takes 9 plus years to feel like I might have it all under my belt.

As one of MOFs recently taught me, it's not about me right now. It's about my kids. My small sacrifice of time - what, the next 18 years out of an entire lifetime? - will be dedicated to them, and their well being.

"You don't get a vacation from being a mom." --Little People, Big World, TLC.

It's recently become very real to me... how invested I am in this thing called motherhood. I wonder when I will resume sleeping all night long. I wake at every little sound. I worry when my kids are sick and when they are healthy. I may get out of the house for a bit by myself - to go grocery shopping. But how can you get through a trip to the store without thinking about your family? On rare occasion my time away is completely indulgent - like for a haircut or a girl's night out. But the last time I had a girl's night out, I was called home just an hour later to feed a baby who was suddenly refusing the bottle. I'm not complaining; I've come to accept this. In all I do, I am a mom. I don't get time off, just like I don't get a rehearsal.

I don't think I ever felt like a housewife before I had 4 children. I've always been a "stay at home mom", but I never really felt like one. I had my regular outlets - teaching violin, performing around town, leading weight watchers meetings, designing for wedding receptions. In the last couple of years, that list has dwindled. Considerably. There is spare time here and there, but simultaneous outlets are a thing of the past. As is a house that is completely clean, every room, at the same time. So, there are times now when I feel like all I do is be a wife, mom, and keep house. I will not let it define me, however, because what you don't see in the term housewife is the tender moments between mother and child, eternal partners, and family members as a whole.

I've created my family, now it is time to raise it. Instead of teaching other children how to play an instrument, I will attend piano lessons with my daughter and support her in HER desires. Instead of performing with the symphony, I will play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star as many times as my toddler would like. And he will clap and squeal. And I will bow and accept weeds from the yard instead of freshly cut roses thrown at my feet. Instead of helping other women learn how to care for their bodies, I will care for my own and be an example to my children, teaching them how to treat their bodies as temples, helping them to respect themselves and have a srong self esteem. Instead of designing wedding receptions, I will let my little girl dream of her own big wedding some day and we will muse together about what a joyous day that will be. I will help her aspire to marrying in the temple and finding a man that is worthy of her, and my husband and I will model a strong loving relationship for our children. And I will feel both fulfilled and compensated because I'll be teaching them, shaping them, molding them.

I don't doubt that there will be a time or two over the next several years to do something fulfilling, just for me, that I love and that makes me Leilani. But when I do, I will be ever so grateful that motherhood, after all, is NOT a thankless job.

MOD Monday

Yesterday a woman who used to be my visiting teacher shared some shocking news. She'd just been told that she had a 4 inch mass on her liver. She'd been in a car accident and in the process of checking her out, the doctor had discovered this mass. And her first thought? "I haven't been a good enough person - a good enough friend, a good enough wife, a good enough mother." She told all of us in Relief Society, "Don't let it take a wake up call to realize you could have been better."

That reminded me of a bit of wisdom that my great grandmother had left in an old journal. I dug through some stacks to find it and reread it. Dated June 14, 1936: "Live so that looking backward you can have no regrets. Dream lofty dreams and then ever struggling upward reach the upper most peaks. Then with love, friendship and charity toward all, be an inspiration for good to your fellow men and a sweet companion to your loved ones."

I think we've all been reminded at some point or another not to waste time in this life. There really is not any time to waste. Each moment DOES count. Each moment DOES matter. And all it takes is a single moment to possibly rob us of the freedom to make a difference - in our lives or in someone else's life. So let's take this "cliche" seriously...

...that's the moral of the day.

God, give me patience...

... when wee hands tug at me with small demands.

That's where I've been. In the land of wee demands. Sorry for my absence - from both mine and your blogs.

We had a fantastic Halloween day. It started with a costume parade at the elementary school. Here's my little tank engine:

There was much baking and cooking as well. Taco soup, rice krispy treats WITH chocolate chips and iced confetti brownies.

Finally the time came to dress up and go party. Every now and then my little tiger would crouch down and roar at passersby. The one day of the year I don't have to apologize for that kind of behavior!

We opted to do the ward trunk or treat this year. I didn't spend much time at all on our trunk... I didn't really have the time, but I was sure inspired by some of the others!
We came home and let the kids hit a few of our neighbors' homes for the traditional trick or treat. Then everyone crashed, despite pure sugar pumping through our veins.

Sasha didn't "dress up" so I have to include a Fallish picture of her. :)